A Wine Story.....

I’ve come to the conclusion after several tries that I might just not be a ‘wine kind of girl’. My taste buds (so far) seem to be bred for more, shall we say, blue collar drinks. I do know now that if I had to choose, I’d choose a wine solely based on the type of cork. Plus, the corkscrew contraption that I had to purchase in order to open the wine, really made me feel mechanically inclined when it was used correctly.

I’ve been trying for years to find a wine that will wean my taste buds to the cultured side, but have not found one I like without shuddering and making a face…..picture a 7 year old girl on her grandpa’s lap letting her taste his Old Milwaukee or PBR beer…..

Upon a recommendation from a friend, I picked out the wine from a larger local store with a great liquor dept. I was told to purchase a bottle of Lindeman’s or McWilliams Shiraz. I was going to only get one, but figured because of the modest price, I could have one of each, but try a 2006 & 2005. (Gimme a break, these are 7 dollar wines). After all, I’ve been told that different years taste differently, as well as the same grape grown in different regions, etc. So many factors….and I just thought it was just a grape. Naïve.

In order to enjoy the whole entire ‘wine experience’, I decided to get comfortable. Keep the comfy jeans on, and removed any ‘restrictive’ clothing to let the girls breathe and headed back to the kitchen.

I pulled out the Lindemans first.

“Lindemans Bin 50 Shiraz 2005 is a real find in the inexpensive wine arena. You can find it for five or six bucks on sale, but it delivers as much as wines costing a lot more. Its aroma is plummy, and the flavor is cherry with a hint of chocolate. This Shiraz saves the best for last, with a lingering and complex finish that adds some oak and spice to the bon-bon flavor.”
Place contraption on top of bottle, screw down, arms come up, push down arms, cork is removed with a slight pull and POP. Synthetic cork good. However, I realized that if I liked the wine, I'd have to drink the whole bottle because I didn't have a cork to recork it with (the one I took out didn't fit back in of course). Or do you just leave it open in your fridge? I'm so wine illiterate. I proceeded to pour the glass, and let it breathe for the obligatory 10 minutes. I grabbed my book, flip flops, wine, bottle and headed out to the garden bench. I started to get into the book and took my first sip......another sip.....still the same reaction. It wasn't a favorable one. I feel terrible for not liking it and I’m not sure why. A Shiraz, while fruity, is just too much like swigging pure alcohol to me.

I figured maybe it was the year that I picked, so I tried to open the McWilliams 2005 Shiraz. This is what the review said when I googled It.

“This Shiraz has a powerful and pleasant nose, full of juicy berries and spice with a hint of licorice. The flavors were plum and blackberry, with a bit of chocolate.”Place contraption on top of bottle, screw down, arms come up, push arms down. This is when the cork is removed. However, upon pulling the cork out, I realize half the cork is on the corkscrew and half remains in the bottle. Real cork bad. Repeat process, this time coming up with a ‘Corklette’, but still the rest remained, this time pushed farther down into the neck. Repeat last time, this time receiving no gratification, OR cork.

Plan B. I rummaged through my utensil drawer and pulled out a shish kabob skewer. Not having taken Physics in high school, I didn’t think of the consequences of pushing the cork INTO the bottle, thus leaving the liquid displaced in its wake, nowhere to go but UP and shooting out of the bottle and all over my face, my shirt, my floor, my sink, my counters, my one wall, and my refrigerator. Apparently, I don’t know my own strength. Shoulda taken physics. This wouldn’t have happened if I took physics.

The Clorox wipes came out. 12 later, I pour my glass of wine, corklettes and particles. It looks less appealing than originally thought it could. I grab another glass, a clean paper towel and sieve it while pouring into the second glass. This worked. This more than made up for my lack of physics logic.

I take the bottle, the glass, my book and my Clorox-smelling self and head out to my bench. I read. I let the glass breathe. I take sip. I take another sip. I make same reaction.

Needless to say, even after the cork fiasco, the shish kabob skewer, the clorox wipes, the changing of the Tshirt, the 2nd extra glass, the paper towel and the subsequent taste, I’ve decided that I just needed to find the right wine. Maybe I’m not describing what I like correctly.

Next wine down…..
How many other varieties to go?

Til then….

Give this girl a Miller long neck and I’ll be happy.